Walked out...

No, not me, though I wish I could, heh, need the pennies too badly, but someone else did, so I had to pick up the slack, on my otherwise day off. Fucking great. Wish I could rant more about stupid fucks I wanna cockpunch, (thanks to http://twitter.com/snipeyhead for that term!) but oh well, gotta work, prolly another 10 hour day. Wonderful.

Cash only hour

There's a period in any 24 restaurant where there needs to be a reboot of the system.

Daily sheets examined, and cash counted, etc. This is known as cash only. During cash only, every must be done by hand, calculated state tax down to the penny, and everything must be precise.

Due to my overwhelming OCD with perfection, and numbers, im the perfect candidate to calculate all of these manual orders. Normally, we don't have any. We do it in the early morning, so we have the fewest chance of seeing customers. Well. Today. I had to total up over 150 dollars. By fucking hand, talk about a major in the ass. Took so long, gotta stay over a few hours just to get the rest of my shit done. Yeehaw!

The best part is, when I entered the orders back into the system after the restart, I wasn't a single fucking penny off.

Small victory to most, but to me, its as crowning of an achievement as I get at mcdonalds.

Just goes to show you how sad this place really is.

Drunk caroling...

Sure. It might be a bit early... but tis the season for drunk college chicks! Its not even a 2 months into the school year and already the drunks are prowling, and 10:30 no less!

I just had a customer, or car full of customers rather, come to the drive through, and sign the entire song of yellow submarine. .. Like, all 3 minutes of it. Then drive off without ordering anything.

WoW

okay. So maybe not caroling, but it seriously reminded me of it. Seriously. I guess mcdonalds is as good a target as any for IRL trolling.

Barq's, high-c orange, and sprite ice cream.

Im sure this has been done before. So im not claiming any firsts by any means, but by taking the syrup from the bag in the box, and then ice cream mix, in a small cup, ratio 5:1, put in freezer. -great- shit.

Next ill post my pictures of the deep fried big mac.....

Closed store

Wow. So someone else called off. And with 2 people in the store, and everything a mess. Were fucking closed tonight. Bitches.

Floor drain

Wow. Apperently the floor drain flooded today. And aperently I had to clean it up because no one else was going to do. Everyone, manager included, was just going to let it sit. And I cleaned it up.

They don't pay me enough for this shit. Ghey.

Halo rush

Wow. We got like 10 customers in a row just because of that new halo game's midnight release. Lame.

Stupid fucking stoners

Alright. So there's stoners that come into mcdonalds every night. There's a pair that are always smoking a blunt.

Lets get something straight. I don't smoke anymore. I used to, and maybe once in a great moon I might smoke a bowl or two every now and again, but nothing really too major. So. I got nothing against stoners.

But I do have something against these dumb mother fuckers.

Is there something really cool about going to mcdonalds and holding up 6 cars and pissing off the people that very easily just whip out their dicks and stir your vanilla shake with a little bit of extra malice? Probably. But that doesn't stop these guys. Every night. Always something new.

Last night. They argued with me for around 4 minutes why they couldn't get their food for free....

Free? What the fuck do you morons think this is?

Needless to say, they left when I threatened to tow their car away.

Next time it happens. Ill be recording their license plate number and calling the cops on em.

Again, nothing against stoners, just don't like jackasses in my drive through.

Fucking morons.

Mcdonalds customer quotes part 2

Alright. So. Customer comes up and asks me if I smoke weed. No. I don't smoke weed.

"You don't smoke weed?"

"No."

"Can I have another straw?"

"Straws in the bag man."

"I need an extra one."

"No problem, anything else?"

"I was justkidding, I don't smoke weed either.. But can I get a few more straws?"

"Uhh. Sure..."

At this point I hand him the straws. Like 6 or something. Dude only got 2 drinks, and just when I was about to ask...

"I need for the cocaine on the way home!"

Just then he punches the gas, nearly takes out a bush, and a street sign, almost tipping his bro truck over on the turn onto the street.

Fucking jackass.

Alright lack of entries

Enter random excuses here.

No. No excuse just got real fucking busy this last week. Like. Really fucking busy. Busiest we've been all season. It sucks ass. Least I can still eat for free! Hahaha suckerzzz

Mcdonalds customer quotes part 1

Customer - "yeah, at dominoes we don't stop delivery until 5 am"
Me - "man, I wish you could get alcohol delivered until 5 am...."
Customer - "I wish we could get coke delivered!'

..........

wut

Helluva fucking night + overtime

Consistantly busy, got nearly nothing done clean/stock wise, and, sitting here on overtime, cause someone else called in. Gotta love it. I mean, sure, the extra 4 hours of ot is nice, but fucking shit am I forever tired. *yawn*

Fuck grill.

Grill.

Arguable the worst position at mcdonalds. Oddly enough, most people that make it to this illustrious position are the reason why when you goto mcdonalds and instead of getting 'no onion' you get 'only onion' and for some strange reason, extra extra pickles too.

When someone gets pissed off because their allergic to blah blah blah, but accedentely took a rather large bite out of it, but proceeded to swallow it, before noticing that they -now- taste onion in their mouth, and might die due to (insert bullshititis syndrome with death allergy to onions here) they go back to me, who's normally working front counter, with their complaints and various other screamings and rantings.

Well. Now -im- on grill, normally this would make me happy. Not having to deal with customers the entire night. But its been a few years since I've done grill at mcdees. A long ass time. I don't remember this shit. So instead of coasting through a night of work, fucking with my drunk-ass-hatted customers, I have to actually work.

Fuck mcdonalds.

For cereal

The freshman 15

Yes. Mcdonalds has a freshmen 15. Only. Its not 15. And it lasts for far longer than a year.

I've recently noticed that I've gained over 20 in about a month of being back at the fucking clown. This is -disgusting-. I started working there and only weighed about 150 or so, I -have- to pushing at least 175, I only speculate, as im scared to get on a fucking scale.

There is something not right about this, so im going to try to switch to salads and diet coke or something, cause like I said, this is completely fucking rediculus. Oh well.

Got work in T-minus 2 hours, 56 minutes. Oh fucking goodie.

Bitchery

Wow. One of these days I'm going to wonder why people are so fucking bitchy. Take the day shift manager. Who shall remain nameless at this point. Complete bitch. Wonders why shit isn't done, and doesn't care about the fact that -all- of us came on the clock at least an hour early to help the previous shift take care of their shit.

Its cool. I take solace in the fact that while I goto school, these dumb bitches will still be working at mcdonalds, or some other bullshit career...

If you can even call it a career...

But then again... what's that say about me?

I dunno, but if I ever have to work with this bitch... ahh who knows.. Who knows... ill probably just plot with everyone else that hates her (everyone else that works here) to have her fired.. Better than shoving said bitches head into the frier... well.. Less incriminating anyway... dunno about better....

Another morning at mcdonalds

And so ends another morning at mcdonalds. Barely managed to get the minimum job, tired as all fucking get out, have this insatiable urge to kill my storemanager and/or owner... but what else is new right?

Least I got to fuck with my customers a whole lot.

"Yeah can I get 2 doublecheeseburgs?'

"No`"

".....'

"Naw man, im just fucking' with ya, what can we get'cha?"

-never- gets old. Ever.

Rum and coke

So. I try not to goto work sober if I can help it. And tonight, it was rum and coke. Well, I misplaced my drink earlier...

Which is fucking -deadly-. Getting away with this sorta shit is nightshirt only business.

If someone from morning shift, like a certain store manager, or franchise owner, finds it, and happens to notice what is is, pretty much everyone on nightshirt gets fired. Its a lose-lose situation.

BUT I JUST FOUND MINE.

Holy flaming couches batman!

3 shots of bicardi down the mother fucking hatch!

Cheers bitches!

Good ol' fashioned bullshit

So I get here, stores a mess, understaffed, and the population of the city grows by 25,000 overnight. Talk about bullshit. Thank god im fucking drunk, otherwise I probably wouldn't make it through this hell...

On the lighter side of things.... oh wait... the light at end of tunnel turned off... fuck...

Jesus fucking christ

I can't even begin to tell you what a sithole this place was when I got here, 3 people on the clock, systems freezing, one of my workers is on fucking chemotherapy, words cannot describe the bullshitery in place at this moment.

Holy.

Fucking.

Christ.

More to come.

The Management Arguement

Now. I've only been working at -this- mcdonalds for a few weeks, but I used to work for mcdonalds for about 6 months, somewhere around 3-6 years ago. And it sucked. Not in the way a normal job sucks, but in the "if one more customer throws change at me one more fucking time im going to jump the counter and cockslap their children" sort of suckery.

Fast food jobs suck. And they suck -hard and long- but I have an insanely high tolerance for bullshit. Don't ask me how, or why, but I do, and god you need it for this type of job. Anyone in their mid 20s working a fast food job probably knows this, anyone else, probably doesn't... but I digress...

Higher ups want me to become management, because I have 3 years of food service management at another chain, assistant store manager no less... I figured, hey, lets move up the chain, make some more money, maybe even go somewhere with this, so sure, why not? Here's how the conversation went...

"Well, given your experience you'd make a great candidate for management..."

"Actually, I was thinking the same thing, as you know I've done it before and I know my way around a store...(and a whole bunch of other bullshit that made myself sound better...)"

"Were completely prepared to put you on the fast track for shift manager, then maybe night shift manager depending on job performance..."

"Well that sounds -great----------"

(Various bullshit regarding job related responsibilities)

"You have any questions about the position?"

"What about benefits and pay?'

"Well, you'd get full medical and dental..."

"And pay?"

"Well, our managers make an additional 50 cents an hour"

WHAT.

50 cents an hour? Lets think about this for a fucking second.

3 times the responsibility. To go from 8.50. To 9.00? Do I get to fuck my girlfriend on the front counter? Do I get to wax my ass with big mac buns?

Needless to say, I turned him down.

First post!

Alright guys. Im going to make this as short and sweet as possible.

Im an anonymous employee at mcdonalds. And because I could probably fired for half of my future posts, I won't be giving out any personal information. Not even my state. But know that I live in the us, and that mcdonalds can blow my 9 inch cock.

Now. The reason for this blog, is because I find there all kinds of funny, bullshit, annoyingly hilarious shit, that happens at mcdonalds all the fucking time. (And because im flooding my twitter account with these instances. Not to mention 140 characters is simply not enough space to explain the jackassery that happens every night during my 9 pm to 5 am shift at mcdees.)

And with that, I bid thee hello, and welcome, let the retardeness begin!